The Avatar
by Luminareth
Summary: While on an undercover diplomatic mission on Vulcan, Kirk is destroyed and reborn. Now, no matter what science says, he has to find a balance between what he use to be and what he is now or he will lose it all. Eventual K/S, no connection to Airbender.
1. A Warning

**Summary: **While away on an undercover diplomatic mission, Jim is destroyed and reborn. But no matter what science says, he will have to find a balance between what he is now and what he was or he loses it all.

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Chapter: The Prologue

It's been three months. Three long months since Kirk, or Kirik, last saw his beautiful ship. Kirk drew in a deep breath, wiping the sweat that had beaded upon his pointed brow. He was aching and all he wants to do is to beam back on the Enterprise, away from stiff and formal Vulcans, and to get out of this ridiculous avatar.

The artificial body isn't hideous by any means, no. The avatar resembles his human body, all light-blue eyes, fair-hair, and bronze skin but with delicately pointed-ears and grave eyebrows. But it did not change the fact that James Tiberius Kirk just felt ridiculous as a Vulcan.

"Kirk to Enterprise, come in Enterprise", Jim spoke into his communicator.

"Enterprise, this is Lieutenant Uhura speaking." Jim could hear a small choke in her voice but he did not say a word.

Jim easily contained his smile and could barely keep from frowning. He didn't want to freak out any of his Vulcan companions with a display of emotions after such a highly emotionally straining mission.

"One to beam up, Lieutenant Uhura."

"Acknowledged Captain, please stand by," Uhura replies, still strangely tense, "Energizing now, Captain Kirk."

Kirk let out the breath he did not know he was holding, letting the familiar sensation of the transporter tingle through him. Turning to his Vulcan companions Jim held up his hand, fingers parted in the traditional Vulcan salute with little difficulty. It had taken a while, but with Spock's help and plenty of practice, the gesture became like breathing to him.

"Live long and prosper," Jim says as a goodbye to his fellow operatives.

"Peace and long life, friend," replies the leader of the group of Vulcans. And not a few seconds later, Jim is on board the Enterprise and looking at Spock, Bones and Scotty in the transporter room. Jim is so happy he manages to miss the tense looks of his crew.

"Bones! Spock! Scotty! Man is it good to be back! It was a horrible three months. No offense Spock, but being a Vulcan sucks." The three did not respond. Bones did not even crack a scowl of amusement.

"Guys…what's wrong? Why the long faces, aren't you happy to see me?" He swings his eyes to every person in the room, his eyes lingering on Spock last. Jim refuses to admit his senior officers' grim silence is starting to freak him out. McCoy clears his throat and Jim looks to him again. The pity on his face is obvious. Jim hates pity, especially when it is directed at him.

"Jim. Kirk. _Captain._ You need to get to sickbay. I, we need to show you something." A chill shot up Jim's spine and his smile became brittle.

Jim clears his throat, hoping that they did not see him falter. "Okay, hit me with what you got. Chekov's not a girl again, right?"

"Nothing of the sort, Sir," Spock says for the first time since Jim's beam up, "This way please, Captain."

As Jim picks up his tired feet to follow after his XO and CMO he shot a look at Scotty, hoping that his third in command's usual cheer would clear some of the dread that settled onto his being. But for once Mr. Scot was not smiling. In fact, on Scotty's face is the same look of despair that Bones gave him. Try as he might to feel otherwise, Jim is suddenly sick to his stomach.

The journey to the Medbay is silent. The crewmen that they passed by silently parted like the Red Sea when they saw their Captain. Jim feels the dread that settled itself into his stomach start to take root and grow. He did not even notice when exactly they stepped into the sickbay. The pneumonic hiss of the sliding door falls on deaf ears as they head towards the private sector of the bay, towards his body.

Jim glances at the bed and wishes he didn't. There is his body, lying where he last left it but sans the equipment that is supposed to keep it alive while he took the Vulcan model out for a spin. There is his body, which is probably paper white and cold and covered in a white sheet that is pulled over his head.

"N..no. No. this is not real. It's a funny joke guys, but you can cut it out now and hook me back up before I die! Haha! Bones, I thought you know better than to pull a stunt this dangerous with my body!" Jim grounds out semi-hysterically.

"Ji—," McCoy tries to interrupt.

Jim cuts him off, "Spock! I thought Vulcans didn't play practical jokes unless your lesson on Vulcan behavior is a practical joke itself…?"

Spock casts his dark eyes onto him. For once, humanity showed freely in his beautiful honey-warm orbs.

"James. I am sorry." Bones doesn't say anything.

And for once Jim hates Spock's eyes. Jim hates Bones. He hates sickbay and even his lady.

He wishes he never beamed back up.

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TBC...

Tell me what you think. =)


	2. I've Got Troubled Thoughts

Chapter 1: I've Got Troubled Thoughts

Jim couldn't breathe.

He desperately gasps; trying to draw oxygen into is lungs. Jim thinks that Bones is trying to say something but he just can't bring himself to listen. His vision begins to blur and he could feel a phantom film of wetness gather at the corner of his eyes, but he refuses to admit he is going to cry.

He sways a bit on his feet and almost immediately Spock's hands try to steady him. His head is pounding with every beat of the avatar's heart. The quick beats coming from his left side are disconcerting.

"Jim! Jim, you have to calm down! If you don't your psi abilities will—shit!" panicked McCoy, waving his tricorder quickly across the captain, "he's startin' to hyperventilate!" Jim let out a strangled gargle and latches onto the nearest thing.

Spock draws in a sharp gasp as Kirk's hand landed on the junction of his shoulders and neck. Anymore pressure and Kirk would have either nerve pinched him or broken his neck. Instead Spock experiences something more disturbing.

Kirk's tight hold on him caused a light mind link. Usually this would not have been a problem to the more experienced telepath but the uncontrolled desperation in Kirk over threw Spock's shields.

McCoy realizes that the situation is quickly growing out of hand. Jim is quite possibly going into shock and now Spock is following after with a telepathic one. He kicks himself mentally for thinking Jim would be in the right state of mind to see his _dead_ body after such a stressful mission. Actually he kicks himself to think it was okay to show any disembodied person their dead body. Jim might have been crazy, but _he is not suicidal_, this is definitely not what he wanted.

"Chapel! Prepare two biobeds!" shouts McCoy as he slams a hypo filled with a strong sedative into Jim's neck.

Jim's wild eyes roll to the back of his head and fell limp. Before he could hit the ground, a very dazed Spock grabs the Captain's prone body.

"Are you okay you Green-Blooded Elf?"

"Quite, Doctor. I did not expect the Captain to initiate a meld," gasps Spock, still dizzy from the unexpected psi attack.

"Hand Jim over Spock, you look like you're about to pass out, too," grumbled McCoy.

"No need Doctor. While I am affected, the Captain's Vulcan body will be much too heavy for you to lift," replies Spock.

McCoy looks at Spock warily. "Alright Spock, carry Jim to that biobed and then you lay down, ya hear?"

Without saying another word, Spock lifts Jim into his arms gently and walked stiffly over to Nurse Chapel. He crosses the bay with barely a stagger and lowers his captain slowly onto the bed in hopes to not wake him. After he finishes his delicate task, he promptly sat himself onto the next bed and closes his eyes, fully intending to meditate. Jim always did have a fascinating ability to break through his mental barriers.

Jim felt himself returning to consciousness, but he couldn't quite bring himself to open his eyes.

He just could not believe it. How could something like that have happened? He had the best medical and science team in the Fleet. They should have been able to keep his body alive for years.

"Jim, I know you are awake." Of course Bones would know exactly when he wakes up.

"We need to talk, I am sure you have questions," continued Bones in an unusually soft voice.

Jim grimaces, his whole face distorting and the Vulcan features looked distinctly human for a minute. Not that he could see. Opening his eyes, his face became icily Vulcan once more. Jim sat up and looked towards his best friend, First Officer, and Head Nurse Chapel.

"How?" he finally chokes out after a few tense minutes. McCoy and Spock looked at each other, silent communication flowing between the two. Jim was starting to hate silence.

"Captain," began Spock, "roughly two months and one week into your away mission on New Vulcan, Klingons appeared in Federation space and started harassing several Federation planets in this quadrant. As the flagship, the Enterprise was required to lead three other ships in retaliation on such attacks, regardless of her captain's absence.

"During the battle, the Enterprise's shields fell to dangerous levels. With such an injury to our systems, the Klingons fired all main weapons onto the Enterprise. Specifically, the Medical Bay. Such an attack was unexpected."

"But we should have predicted something like that anyways. We were lucky to survive the attack, Jim," continues McCoy, "but the Medbay was damaged critically and by the time we managed to transfer your body to the USS Endeavor, it was too late."

Jim glances away from his friends. "I see. I…understand."

The four sat in the bay in complete silence, only the rhythmic beeping of medical equipment breaking the contemplative silence.

Jim finally looks back at his friends and clears his throat. "I guess sitting here for the rest of my life is not the answer. No matter what, I am still captain of the Enterprise, one little set back is not going to stop me. I'm James T. Kirk and JTK is unstoppable." He shoots them a painfully wide grin, totally out of place on a Vulcan face.

McCoy flinches slightly, hardly noticeable but Jim sees.

"If you need any assistance, Captain, I would be grateful to help," states Spock in an almost shy tone. Jim looks at the Vulcan, the painful grin gentling into something almost real.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock, I might take you up on that," he doesn't know if he means it, but he thinks he appreciates the thought.

"Sure you are okay Jim?" questions McCoy hesitantly, full of self blame.

"Yeah, I'm fine," replies Jim hoping to ease his friend's guilt.

Chapel, who had been silent throughout the whole conversation, went to lay a comforting hand on the Captain's shoulder but decided last second to pull him into a tight hug. Jim hugs back just as tight after a few seconds. He should be thankful for such a caring crew, but right now, he feels numb like a true Vulcan.

He is not fine. Not by any of its various definitions. He might also just be in denial but he is fine with it for now. Denial seems like a good place to be.


	3. Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

Chapter 2: Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

Sulu sighs a bit and slouches an inch or two in his seat. Next to him Chekov shifts with a nervous energy. These last three months just weren't the same without the optimistic personality of Captain Kirk to keep them on task. He had never had such a terrible time on the Enterprise. He loves the ship to death no questions about it, she practically purrs underneath his skilled hands but it just wasn't the same without his commanding officer.

Captain Kirk beamed up a few hours ago. When his call was picked up by a nervous Lieutenant Uhura, everyone perked up until they remembered the accident three weeks ago. Sulu hopes the Captain will take the news of the Klingon attack in relative stride like he always does with anything. He doubts it but doesn't want a new commanding officer. It would be like the past three months of Kirk's absence only worse. Permanent.

Sulu is guilty and sick and worried and guilty, guilty, guilty as anyone else about the situation. He is said to be the best pilot of his class. Hikaru Sulu feels guilty for not being fast enough when maneuvering the ship. They must have been exaggerating.

Ensign Chekov shifts noticeably in his seat when Sulu releases a tired sigh. He is only seventeen and he's the best navigator of the fleet (and one of its best tacticians to boot) working on the best ship of the Fleet. But his genius doesn't clear the tense air of the bridge. He feels like he should have planned better. What use is a genius that could not protect his captain from murder?

Ensign Pavel A. Chekov. He is seventeen and one of the best of the best in Star Fleet. He's seen too much. He feels like he doesn't belong.

Nyota Uhura is a beautiful woman. Strong and smart. Clean cut and sharp and proud. Nyota Uhura choked up when she received the long awaited transmission from their Captain. She's the first person of their crew to greet him in forever. She needs to be optimistic, or lovingly sarcastic, or strong to welcome him back. She misses him, they all do. _She can do this,_ she thinks to herself repeatedly.

The best communications officer in Star Fleet chokes for the first time in a long while. And she could not bring herself to say a word after she ended the communiqué. She just silently sits in the command chair, perched like a queen, posture regal with bags under her eyes and hair slightly askew and an even heavier heart. Nyota really hopes Kirk comes back to them with a grin on his dumb playboy face.

The turbo lift doors open and everyone on the bridge hold their breaths and turns. Captain Kirk slowly shuffle-steps off the lift with Commander Spock following closely like a sturdy sentinel. The Commander clears his throat and announces the long awaited words.

"Captain on the bridge." Every bridge officer immediately stands up and snaps into attention.

Jim stares at his crew stoically. They are a complete mess, haggard and scared. He is uneasy and self-conscious and feels out of place in this Vulcan body and that just makes everything worse. The bridge temperature is all wrong, _it's too cold_ he thinks, and the silence is deafening and the guilt in everyone's eyes is too strong, too stiff. Jim feels uncomfortable but he has to be strong, _For them_, he thinks.

"At ease." Everyone falls back into their seats at his command. Uhura immediately vacates his spot and returns to hers and Spock moves smoothly away from his side to sit himself down in the station next to her. Jim slowly staggers towards his station; his movements are as jerky in the Vulcan body as when he first woke up in it.

He feels every little move they make, and it's unsettling. He is Vulcan now, and he can sense their eyes on his figure more potently than ever. He feels them as they eye his ears, much too pointed to be him, he's sure. They observe his eyebrows, to severe for his usually smiling features. They ponder his skin tone. The green tinge looks healthy and lovely on Spock, but must look sickly on the Captain, _he knows_.

The only comforting thing would have been his azure eyes, but they are too cold, no doubt. They stare until they notice he is uncomfortable and then respectfully cast their eyes back on their work.

It's the beginning of alpha shift and Jim wants it to end.

Jim gazes at the star field directly outside of the ship. Yeoman Rand is waiting patiently next to him while he signs off on repair forms from engineering and medical. He knows that he should be paying attention to the PADD in his hand but he just can't keep focus. Jim sighs and forces himself to look back down at the report and quickly signs it off. He hands the finished PADD to Rand and she nods her head in approval.

Rand hands him the next one and he reaches towards her to accept it. She lets go only when she feels he's got a firm grip on it. Pulling the PADD towards himself, Jim's eyes scan as quickly as human eyes can go through the report, much slower than a Vulcan. That's right, he's still human. He's not as efficient as Spock. Approving of the information in the report and the conformation in his mind, he places the stylus on to the touch sensitive glass to sign.

The crack could be heard clearly by everyone on the bridge.

Jim stares blankly at the cracked and crackling surface of the PADD and his crew stares at him. Jim's hands tighten minutely on the stylus.

"Ah," he begins, "it looks like I still haven't gotten the hang of super strength," he says wryly to lighten the mood on the bridge. He clenches his hand a bit more.

"I'm sorry, Yeoman, did you happen to get another copy?"

"Yes, Sir, I have all reports saved in triplicate," she replies smartly.

"Well, let's see it," he tries to reply while keeping the hysterics deep inside himself. She respectfully hands him the requested copy and he quickly signs off on it.

"Thank you, Sir. By your leave, Captain."

Jim nods, "Dismissed, Yeoman."

Rand gathers all PADDs including the broken one into her slim arms and marches off the bridge. Jim sits in his chair and breathes in deeply.

"Spock, you have the Conn for the rest of the shift," mutters Jim as he stands up and heads towards the turbo lift. Without waiting for an acknowledgement, he steps in and the automated doors slid shut. He still feels the hard stares of Spock burrowing into his back.

"Deck five, officers' quarters," he commands the lift's computer.

Jim opens his hands and stares down at the stylus he forgot to return to Rand. He raises an eyebrow and scrunches his face at the same time, precise Vulcan muscle control allowing him that almost impossible facial contortion.

Cleanly down the middle, the stylus is snapped in two.

"Damn," he mutters quietly to himself.

The human swear tastes bitter on his Vulcan tongue.

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Alright Guys: If anyone has any difficulties in mind that you think Jim needs to address then drop me a line in a review. I am open to new ideas. =)


	4. The Opulence of These Inane Situations

**Appreciations and notes: **Okay, heres the next chapter of the Avatar. I had to cut the chapter in half so I could put it up in time today but I hope that's okay. I would like to thank anyone who reviewed, especially those who left suggestions. Thank you for the favorites and alerts as well, it is much more than what I expected to get to be honest. So thank you all and I hope you enjoy the update. My only warning is that I did not get a chance to proof read.

**Disclaimer:** Whoops, can't believe I forgot this: I do not own any of the characters used in this work of fiction. It is purely for fun and no profit what so ever.

**Edit:** I would like to thank everyone who has already reviewed this chapter so far. and I would especially like to thank _LostSchizophrenic _for pointing out an important detail I forgot to add in my hurry to post this chapter: Kirk's medical/leave-work schedule He did not return to duty right after his finds out his body died. That first day back on the bridge was his shot at boosting crew/his morale. Too bad it was kind of a bust.

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Chapter 2: The Opulence of These Inane Circumstances

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Jim sighs deeply through his nose. He really messed up this time. He has only been back on full duty for three days after his week long mandatory medical leave and he already screwed up. Jim just knows Bones would have _made _himtake a longer break if he could without command getting on their rears about duties and how they can't afford to slack off now that they are practically crippled after the Nero incident. But after this major failure he wonders if it would have been better to just have requested shore leave until he got this body figured out.

But what is done is done. He now believes that he is the only captain in the Fleet that can end up offending a whole race in one humiliating and disgusting moment? He tries to resist pulling out his hair on the bridge in frustration as he began to remember the unpleasant incident. The memories came flooding back as he waited for the inevitable call from Star Fleet command. He just hopes they all consider what he sacrificed for them before they decide if they want to throw him out of Star Fleet.

****

The Enterprise was on yet another diplomatic soiree to welcome a new planet into the Federation. It should have been a cake walk compared to the rest of the harrowing adventures of the USS Enterprise yet somehow, James T. Dickhead Kirk, managed to mess it up. _Again_.

The race being initiated is the Carrahinths of the planet Carrahi. The planet was previously known as Delta Gamma V and it was a forest planet that rivaled Vulcan in heat but surpassed even Earth in water mass. They were a tall and lean people, averaging six feet tall and completely hairless except for their long lashes and strong eyebrows. The Carrahinths are humanoid with skin as luminous as Terran gold and slanted eyes that faintly resembled the gems found on Earth.

They were friendly to aliens and very curious about the Federation and it hundreds of members. The crew was actually getting comfortable at the party and then their Captain had to go and screw it up.

The Carrahinths are extremely open and love to show off their money and power. The dining hall used for the party was practically dripping with gold and rare gems native to that planet. The wide expansive halls were lighted with the most pleasant incense found in that quadrant of space as well. A sort of mixture of what smelled like sandalwood and jasmine, While the scent was pleasing for most humanoid species, it was too strong for Vulcans.

As soon as Jim and his main bridge crew stepped into the gathering Jim's and Spock's noses were bombarded with the smell. He knew that if he had tear glands as a Vulcan, he would have started to cry at the assault but the human part of his crew only drew in deeper breaths of appreciation, especially Sulu and Uhura.

When Jim looked over to Spock to take in his reaction to the powerful odor he was glad, for a second, to know that he was not the only one that wanted to cement close his own nostrils.

But Spock was holding his own and refused to show his discomfort.

_Well, _thought Jim, _if Spock can do this then so can I. _He was not going to let some foofy smell bring him down. Even if he was developing a headache in his left temple and was starting to feel nausea.

The headache and dizziness kept him from being the social person that he usually was, though he doubted anyone would have approached a stone cold Vulcan anyways. And being in his current, Vulcan body numbed any want of socializing, anyways. Jim made the logical choice for once and just stayed with Spock, relatively away from the others, but still there to answer any of the Carrahinths' questions.

It wasn't until dinner that his grievous offense happened.

A gentile chime of the glass dinner bell signaled the end of the socializing at the moment and the beginning of their generous seven course feast. The crew of the Enterprise and other assembled ambassadors of both the Federation and the Carrahinthian people sat at the appropriate seats.

In order of importance the Carrahinthian King, Tha'mir, sat at the head of the sprawling table with his queen, Su'harth at his right. Kirk, being the most recent hero of the Federation was honored with the seat on King Tha'mir's left. Spock took the seat across from Kirk and next to the queen.

The rest of the crew, though very respected for their skills and their part in saving Earth, were not important enough for the opulent royalty of Carrahi to be included in the seats of the head table. They were seated next to the Federation Ambassadors instead.

If they took any offense to the unintentional slight, they wisely chose to keep their mouths shut unlike some of the Ambassadors. And even if Jim was a Vulcan now, he couldn't help but be proud that his _young_ crew were so mature. He then decided that he was still Jim Kirk and _screw being Vulcan he would do what he wanted_. The stared straight at Chekov and threw him a thumbs up face still in the default emotionless expression. Chekov gave him a slight smile in return.

If anyone felt that a Vulcan doing such a gesture was ridiculous, they silently kept it to themselves. That was okay with Jim because he was actually starting to feel like a human again.

The silent gloating could not continue because at that moment dinner was served.

Beautifully dressed servers practically danced out from the doors connecting the grand hall to the kitchens. Their long emerald robes danced around their bare legs and bangled ankles, making them look like they were floating on air.

They practically flittered over to the long table. With grand gestures that screamed rehearsed to his Vulcan eyes, they placed the food in front of each diner.

Kirk looked at his meal and immediately lost his appetite. In front of him as a plate of some sort of poultry that would have looked delicious to him when he was a human. But now the smell of charred flesh assaulted his sensitive nose more than the incense had. Trying to keep his face from flushing orange with nausea he looked across from him to see what Spock was going to do about this.

Spock looked over at Kirk at the same moment. Worried that Kirk would try to take a bite of the meat and then promptly regurgitate it back up. Spock was thankful to notice that Kirk looked sick to his stomach at the thought of consuming the meat.

Spock turned towards the King and Queen on his right and gained their combined attentions.

"Pardon me your Excellencies," Spock began, "it has just occurred to me that might not have been informed that Vulcans are vegetarians."

The Queen looked a bit confused and spoke in a singing voice, "But Mr. Spock, you must try some. The _Kalgar_ is the first dish consumed at successful negotiations. The bird is a symbol of unity and the consumption of its properties will bless both parties with luck and long friendship."

Spock responded without hesitation. "Yes, I am aware of your culture's beliefs, but Vulcans are raised in such ways that the ingestion of meat is to be avoided at all costs."

The King raised a thick brow and put forth another point as to why they should eat the Kalgar. "Yes, but you never said that you _cannot _eat it, just that you are raised not to."

Spock countered almost immediately. "Your Majesties, ingesting meat does indeed cause a Vulcan great distress. Over the years, Vulcans have evolved in such ways that we lack the ability to properly digest animal tissue."

"If it is so then it is so," conceded the Queen and Kirk let out a breath that he did not know he was holding.

"But," she continued, "The Captain is not a Vulcan so he must try some." The thought got Jim's stomach churning once more.

"But as you can see your Grace," interjected Jim in an attempt to keep himself from getting sick all over his majesty, "I am a Vulcan now and my body will reject the Kalgar."

The Queen slightly glared at him. "But Captain, you were not raised as a Vulcan, certainly your body would not be conditioned to reject the flesh of animals. I have read that meat is a staple of human diet."

The conversation had caught the attention of both his crew and ambassadors.

"Yes, but I am a modern Vulcan, I can't eat meat without extreme consequences, your Grace," tried Kirk in a last attempt. If they deny him, then he knows he would have no choice but to eat the Kalgar.

"Captain Kirk," stated the King sternly, his voice booming and quieting the almost silent din in the hall, "you people of the Federation come to our planet with wishes to participate in our culture and yet when we share the most honored meal our traditions have to offer, you reject them. Is the true face of the Federation?_ Ignorant and disrespectful?_" he nearly growled.

"Are you not a human, Kirk?" asked the usually warm queen icily. Offended, she continues mercilessly, "or are you a Vulcan? And a false one at that." The last part wasn't even phrased as a question and her voice was no longer melodious.

An angry scowl could be seen on McCoy's face if Kirk looked at his best friend's direction. Bones knew that Jim's stomach could not handle the alien plate. Jim had no choice but to clench his fists and resist glaring at the couple. With a deep breath and a resigned sigh Kirk reluctantly stabbed a piece of Kalgar with his fork and moved it slowly to his mouth.

The King and Queen and the rest of the Carrahintians looked as pleased as the cats that ate the canaries when he put the vile forkful into his mouth. The Federation members, especially the Enterprise crew and Vulcan Ambassadors looked horrified as Jim chewed slowly and then forced the meat down his protesting throat.

Chekov actually looked as if he would cry for his captain. If Kirk could, he knew he would have been tearing for the second time that night.

As soon as he felt the Kalgar settled in his stomach he had to suppress its overwhelming urge to revolt. With an orange-flushed face and green-bloodshot eyes he unleashed a glare upon the King and Queen.

It must have been intimidating because they both leaned away from him.

With a sharp movement he shoved his chair backwards and turned sharply away from the table, the king, queen and Spock. Jim didn't care if he offended them when he rushed out of the dining hall, his dress uniform making him look only like a streak of gold as he pushed through the throng of servants and out the door. He was desperate to find a place where he could throw up in peace.

He might get a reprimand for it later but, as he was attempting to empty his body of his guts, he doesn't care. He is sick to his _Vulcan_ stomach and suppressing a very real _Vulcan _emotion that feels very much like rage.

How dare they act offended after he supposedly trampled over their culture when he refused the Kalgar? He only did it because he just could not even hope to cope with eating it. Where did they get a right to force a _Vulcan _to eat meat?

He had the answer to that question as he was throwing up a day's worth of meals in the lovingly trimmed and beautiful bushes directly outside of the palace hall.

_Take that you hypocritical bastards_, he thinks bitterly and a bit spitefully as he finally succeeded in emptying his stomach.

As Jim wiped away the bitter acid that still clung to the edge of his mouth, he realized that he did not notice he had been addressing himself a Vulcan almost all evening.

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**End Notes: **I really rushed to get this out so it might be messy. If you catch any glaring errors please feel free to tell me. I am always open to suggestions from the readers so feel free to drop one or two through a review. =)


	5. I Will Fight 'til We See the Sunlight

**Author's note:** Okay, guys, I am really sorry for the wait, and I am not going to make up any excuses so I'll just say it. I am an unmovtivated individual. And after the obligated school work, I don't want to do anything. I just couldn't find the motivation to write anything these past few weeks. But I will finish this story, Gosh darnit.

**Warning:** This is totally unbeta-ed or proof-read and may just burn out you retinas, proceed at your own risk...

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Chapter: Tonight, I'mma Fight 'til we see the Sunlight

Spock was worried no matter how much he would deny it later. He just watched Jim run out of the hall without a backward glance. He turns to survey the suddenly quiet room. The looks on the Enterprise's crew ranged from worry to fury. Worry about the Kirk's health and fury at the alien King and Queen. The Carrahinths stared wide-eyed.

Spock turns his head back towards the royal couple. With a curt nod he pushed away from the table and stood up from his chair.

"Excuse me," he tells the two seated beings, "but it seems like this meeting will have to end here for tonight."

Stepping down from the raised section the long table rested upon, Spock addressed the rest of the crew.

"All crew members prepare to beam out in half a standard hour," he said quickly as he was strides towards the only exit from the chamber. Before he could reach the exit, McCoy pulled him off to the side and ushered them out of hearing range from the rest of the party.

"Spock," began McCoy, "if Command hears about this, they could finally get Jim off the Enterprise. That will break him for real this time, Spock."

"I am well aware of this fact, Doctor, but at this moment we have more to worry about," he replied calmly.

"Look you Green-blooded Bastard; I don't think you get it. These people aren't as important as the Federation likes to tell you, Jim, your captain and friend matters more than some possible diplomatic incident!" hisses McCoy.

Spock raises his is left brow.

"You misunderstand me, Doctor. I am more concerned about the Captain's current health. Now, if you will excuse me, I must attend to the Captain."

Spock left McCoy standing alone and off to the side as he started once again for the doors. Before he could fully step through, the Vulcan stopped.

Without turning around he said, "Please stay here and make sure the landing party is ready to be beamed up is twenty point three five minutes and file a mission report, Lieutenant-Commander."

McCoy was left standing alone and with a disbelieving look on his face.

****

Spock briskly walked through the decadently decorated halls searching for the Captain. He had been searching for fifteen minutes exactly and Kirk was still nowhere to be seen. With a sigh in his head, Spock decided to look in the garden attached to the dining hall.

The garden was silent and seemed to be empty of any sentient beings. Spock sighs, out loud this time because no one was around. He was just about the call the ship in hopes of locking onto Kirk's transporter signal until a slightly acrid smell not unlike bile caught his senses.

Turning his head a few degrees to the right he spots Kirk slouched along the stone wall next to a line of beautiful rose bushes. Without the slightest hesitation in his steps, he makes his way over to Kirk.

The Captain didn't look up as Spock approached, but there was no doubt that he knew he was there. Spock stops in front of Kirk and the silence held. No words were exchange for another minute. Spock made the first move and crouched down to sit besides his Captain in the dirt, his knees slightly bumping into Kirk's curled up legs.

"Captain," Spock ventures. The Vulcan was not sure if the Captain would respond. To his surprise, Kirk looks up at him. Bright blue eyes peaked up at him from elegantly slanted brow bones.

"Spock," Kirk flashes a small smile up at his First Officer. For some unexplained reason, the Commander feels his heart jump. _Illogical._

"Jim," he responds, "it's time to return to the ship."

Kirk smiles a bit more at his name, "Spock, I'm sorry I screwed up badly back there."

"That is of no consequence Captain; it is illogical to apologize for what is out of your control."

"Fleet command will not think that," the younger man tries to joke.

Spock purses his lips, barely noticeable, bit Jim's sharp eyes see it. "Admiral Pike will stand for your case, and so will the Vulcans. What the King and Queen demanded was wrong and a gross breach of cultural moors."

"Spock," breathes Kirk, "what will I do without you."

"You would sit here for a far longer length of time."

The Captain lets out a slight chuckle, the harsher Vulcan features softened up and revealed a bit more of Jim Kirk.

"Right you are, Mr. Spock." Kirk stands up and dusts his hands on his uniform pants before offering one to Spock. Spock hesitates and stares at the hand he held out. Jim started to feel uncomfortable and was just about to retreat when a larger hand grasped it. A slight jolt shot through his fingers and up his arm. With the slightest effort, he drew the other Vulcan up.

They both stood closely in the deserted garden, the planet's four moons shining over head. With a slight cough, Kirk releases Spock's hand and reaches it towards his utility belt for his communicator.

A quick flip of his wrist he opened a line to the communications officer in charge. "Kirk to Enterprise, two to beam up." Before the situation could be drawn out any longer, the technician standing by since thirty minutes ago fished them off the planet. The last thing anyone on that particular world will see of the Enterprise disappeared in two swirls of gold.

***

When Jim opened his eyes again, he saw the familiar comfort of the main transport room and Scotty standing by the controls. With a nod of his head and a clearing of his throat he steps of the platform and out of the room, Spock a protocol three feet behind him.

Kirk and Spock wasted no time and headed straight towards the Bridge. Every officer in the hallways of the ship parted quickly at the combined presence of their command team.

They entered the conveniently vacant turbo lift.

"Bridge," states Kirk in a clear voice. Spock remains a quiet, comforting presence at his side. The doors slide open to a bustling bridge and they stepped out. The officer in the center chair quickly stands up for his captain.

"Report, Commander."

"All personnel are back on board, Sir. We are cleared to leave orbit at you command," replied the Commander without hesitation.

"Good, you may retire for the rest of the night, Commander."

"Thank you, Sir." The addressed officer salutes and enters the open turbo lift doors.

Kirk sinks into his chair as Spock claims his station. It's time to start acting like the captain of the Enterprise again. He didn't know how much longer he will be able to be her commander before Starfleet drops the axe on his neck. Rotating on the axis of his station, Kirk turns to face Uhura.

"Lieutenant, please open a direct communication to Admiral Pike after sending the mission report."

"Aye, Sir," answers Uhura, her fingers already tapping away to open a clear channel.

Swiveling around to the ships front Kirk addresses Sulu and Chekov.

"Break geosynchronous orbit Sulu. Chekov, lay in course for Earth."

"Aye, Sir." Sulu and Chekov both sit up a bit straighter in their chairs and got straight to work.

"Orbit disengaged, Sir."

"Course laid in, Keptin. ETA is two weeks."

Kirk smiles at his crew, "Punch it."

***

Two hours into their cruise, Pike picked up his hail.

"Well, Captain Kirk. Let's hear it, what happened?" Pike opened the conversation without beating around the bush.

Kirk clears his throat. "Well Sir, as you should have already read in the report. The mission was shot to hell."

Pike sighs and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Jim, you can't keep messing up. I can only help so much. The some of the other admirals are looking for any reason to get you ejected from your position."

"I know, but Pike, this really isn't my fault this time. Those Carrahinths forced me to eat meat. Vulcans don't eat meat."

"You could have explained it to them diplomatically."

"That's the problem. I tried but they wouldn't listen!"

"What do you mean they wouldn't listen? Didn't anyone tell them that Vulcan physiology is not equipped to digest meat?"

Kirk sighs again in frustration. "That's what I am trying to tell you. Both me and Spock tried to tell them exactly that. But they reasoned that since I am not a _real_ Vulcan, I am still obligated to eat that peace dish thing."

"You actually ate it?" asks Pike.

"Yeah, didn't want to cause a diplomatic incident," responds Kirk sarcastically," lot of good that did."

"And how did you react to it?" There was obvious worry on the admiral's face.

"I hurled on their rose bushes," deadpans Kirk.

Pike laughs a bit. "Good for you kid, are you alright now?"

Kirk's Vulcan face smirked. "Yes."

"Petty revenge doesn't suit you, Captain," the older man said, amused.

"Pettiness is illogical, Admiral."

Christopher smiled at Kirk, "No, no it isn't."

"Look, Jim. I'll explain it to the others. They won't take away your command, I promise you."

"You shouldn't make promises you might not be able to keep Chris, I have a lot of enemies," countered Kirk.

Pike shakes his head at Kirk's retort.

"Jim. They can't take away your command because you are not a fault. Any blind pencil pusher in 'Fleet command will see that after they hear the whole story."

"I sure hope you are right Admiral and I am wrong. At least this once, because, you know. Usually I'm right."

"You arrogant little hooligan," said Pike good-naturedly, "you have more friends than you think."

Before Jim could respond, Pike disconnected the signal.

"What does that mean?" he asks the silent bridge but no could answer.

"Captain," uttered Uhura, "a message from Pike just came in."

Jim spins towards his head Communications Officer.

"Well, let's hear it then."

"Wait for future orders, but for the mean time, head back towards Earth. Everything will be fine."

Kirk's hands clench tightly around his armrests, careful to avoid pressing accidentally on any of its controls.

_I sure hope so. I really do. Because I'm not going to give up the best thing to ever happen to me without a fight._

_TBC..._

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It's a bit filler-y for now, but the Vulcan issues Jim needs to deal with are coming closer and closer...

Read and Review Please. :D


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